I think I have always sold myself short. Or at the very least I have stifled my creativity, never failing to remind myself of the uncertainty and difficulty of following certain dreams. I've come up with a long and ever-growing list of reasons why, for example, I should not make cooking my career. "I wouldn't like the lifestyle of a chef." "I don't have the money to go back to school for culinary studies." "I want cooking to be my hobby not my career. If it was my career I might not love it as much anymore." There is undoubtedly truth to all of these. But I have failed to admit what is perhaps the biggest reason I haven't followed any of my creative passions. It shames me, but fear is the biggest factor. I look with envy at my friends who are confident in their ability to support themselves through music, photography, painting, food styling, and so on. I'm too busy worrying that I may find out I'm simply not that talented.
A few days ago I listened to my friend recite her own poetry into the airwaves from the Lake Forest College radio station. It wasn't even a poem she had worked on for weeks. She did not allow herself time to weigh the pros and cons of reading it on the air. If I heard her correctly, she began writing it in the station and read it aloud only moments after finishing it. I was overwhelmed by her courage (as I have been before as I watched her recite her poetry at an open mic night). And not only that, but I spend the better part of the next half hour deep in thoughts unique to me that were sparked by her words. Sammie, you are brilliant and I wish more of me could be more like you.
Anyway... aside from making just $44 dollars for a whole night's work, I had a lovely day full of:
AJ Noodles
And one DELICIOUS homemade lunch. Whole grain spaghettini with sauteed garlic, onions, tomatoes, and spinach.
Preparing a beautiful and delicious meal warms me like few things can. Food is medicine.
when are we going to hear more from this guacamole vixen?
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