Motivation. ?

It has been forever since I've written.

And that's in part because I have been working so much. But mostly because I've been unmotivated.

But the second kid in this video was all the motivation I needed to produce a shiny new blog post. The best of the Online.

A tip of the hat.

This post is dedicated to an old friend.

Jeff, it has been ever impressive to watch you nurture your craft over the years.  You've taken raw talent (something not everyone can identify with) and created art that is altogether catchy, thoughtful and worthwhile.

Too good not to share.

A Formal Affair

Allie doesn't get snazzed up for just any event.
I can't speak for Zak, though.

So what gives?
The twistedly talented Allen Cordell, director of Spank Rock's latest music video (viewable here), hooked us up with invites to the release party. Rooftops. Meatpacking district. Expensive drinks. Really really tall, skinny girls.

And these two ugly mugs.

 

This is also the official premiere of our newly purple walls. Better to pose in front of these ones than the ones in the bathroom. Unless, of course, your eyeballs prefer sights of unsightly measures. (Mold is the enemy. If you're in NYC.)

 

The Demise of Miss Neophyte.

Well.... hurricane Irene has come and gone. Supposedly some places in Queens and lower Manhattan experienced some flooding and what not. But things remained relatively tame around these parts. Good amount of rain. But not even a power outage (yet). 

So now it's Sunday. We have power. Our refrigerator  is cold. It's not even raining. We had plans made! We reworked our schedules around YOU, Irene! And you barely even showed your face. So now what do we do? 

.....howaboutbuildshipsoutofCliffBarboxesandseeiftheyfloat?!?!?

THE FLOTILLA: S.S. Jesus and Miss Neophyte.

 

While S.S. Jesus leaves behind a strong wake...

....Miss Neophyte flounders.

Next time, Neophyte!!!!!

Zak resurfacing the wreckage.

In the end, neither Zak nor I floated away with the waves and winds of Irene. Miss Neophyte, however, did not share our lucky fate. 

Come On, Irene.

There is lots to be shared. Including the exciting news that I'm now a full time emlpoyee. But that's for another time. Today is all about one thing: Irene.

And let me tell you.

We.

Are.

Prepared.

The breakdown: bottles of water, Jiff, red wine, Tullamore Dew, duct tape, cash, Digestives, Cliff bars, chocolate with sea salt, avocados, a flashlight, playing cards. I don't think it's my naivety speaking when I say I don't think anyone could possibly need more in preparation for/the aftermath of a hurricane.

No toe-testing here... JUST JUMP IN!

There is something about mildly misbehaving that turns even the most serious into gigglebags. 

Exhibit A: Jumping into the ocean while fully clothed. 

Before.

After.

A conversation, transcribed.

Less a conversation, and more a preaching.

The scene: It's Thursday, July 21st. 11:00pm. Almost time for Rocco's to close up shop. Allie is Windexing the front most cake display window, her back toward the customers and the rest of the shop. She hums a tune quietly to herself, tending to her business only, when.....


Man: mumble mumble mumble mumble.

Allie: (realizing the mumbling is getting louder, nearer, and is directed toward her) Turns around. Smiles. I'm sorry, what was that, sir?

Man: Oh, you're not that girl. I thought you were that other girl.

Allie: Smiles again.


Man: It's probably better you didn't hear anyway.

Allie: Returns to her Windex.


Man: It's bad enough we're on a giant fault line.

Allie: Turns. Confused. Slightly annoyed. 


Man: Do you know what a fault line is?

Allie: Short. And a bit offended by this man's condescending tone. Yes, I do.

Man: Well do you know what it is that makes faults shift?

Allie: Condescendingly thinks to herself "by 'makes faults shift' you must mean 'makes tectonic plates shift.'" No sir, I guess I'm not entirely sure.

Man: Emphatically. Homosexuals.

Allie:

Man: History proves it! You don't believe me, do you?

Allie: No sir, I certainly don't.

Man: You think I'm making this stuff up?!

Allie: No I don't think you made it up, I'm sure there are plenty of people who believe that, I'm sure you heard it somewhere. 

Man: Sarcastically. Oh yeah, I heard it somewhere. What a brilliant answer. Walks away. Receives his chocolate Italian ice. Takes his leave. 

I have just one thing for you.

And this is it:

Yes, this is it.

Crumbelina

That's my name for this delicious confection. Because it's cute. And ironic, as the appeal to this dish lies in the giganticism, the massivity, the enormology of the crumbs. I saw photos of it, wanted it, read the recipe, and decided it couldn't possibly be anything other than delicious... there are nearly two sticks of butter in this baby.

I've had my new oven for some time now, but I had been putting off baking. Why? Because ingredients = $$$ and I was still lacking all of the baking basics. You know, Flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking soda, baking powder, vanilla extract. Everything one would require to make a batter or dough or crumb. But this past weekend, I was motivated by a craving that simply could not be resisted. I needed rhubarb. I needed crumb. I needed cake. I needed crumb. So I bit the bullet and set out on a quest for all things baking. It was one-stop-shopping until it came to the rhubarb. But that was okay. Because I'll take any excuse I can finagle to spend time in the Chelsea Market. Sure, it's obnoxiously overpopulated. But my little foodie heart goes a-pitter-patter every time I step into that gorgeous produce market. Never have I seen a larger selection of mushrooms. Need it fresh? Need it dried? They have it. Never have I seen fennel in such abundance--so much so that I needed to try it out. Turns out it's not my favorite thing, although the fennel/grapefruit salad I made was exciting to eat in that it was a flavor profile completely unfamiliar to me. After ogling the mushrooms and fennel, I found my way toward the mission objective. Back when I lived with good ol' mom and dad, my own backyard was home to as much spring-summertime rhubarb as our hearts could desire, but now I must trek the 12 blocks to Chelsea Market if ever I'm in need.

Without further adoodoo, here she is:

Oh, wait! That's me! Silly me. 

I figured Zak got one in the last post. It's only fair.

Okay, for real this time, here she is:

Zak was a trooper, eating the whole square I cut for him, and praising me all the while. But I could tell (and he later admitted) it wasn't his most favorite thing to come from my kitchen. What can I say? The boy prefers fruit in its natural, raw form. And I don't know if the ginger agreed with him. But Mr. Engel paid us a quick visit last night and, much to my happiness, didn't leave before having a taste. He had wonderful things to say about it. I was just happy to pawn some off. With Zak out of the running for finishing the cake, I'll be doing that entirely on my own. My taste buds are elated. My overall wellness and shapeliness, however....

If you would like to check out the recipe and, lets be honest, even better photos, from the source I used, check out Smitten Kitchen. [OH EM GEE, the frickin' Smitten Kitchen again?! Is she serious?! -You bet your bottom dollar. You'll check it out. And you'll like it.] I believe she also offers a link to her source for the recipe as well, to which she made a few alterations.

Games 'n Stuff

This is my boyfriend playing games. 

Sometimes he doesn't beat them. But this time he did. 

"My favorite Allie-original"

Tone and Iva, as two of my few blog followers, I know you'll be reading this... the meal I was preparing while you Skyped with Zak turned out so wonderfully delicious!

I had been craving a meal like this one for nearly a month now. Finally got around to making it. I stopped quickly at Trader Joe's after work to pick up that which inspired me. I came home and quickly threw together what I had been envisioning for the last hour of my work day, and we ate. And what a feast it was! I was hoping to take really awesome ones not only of the final product, but of the process, but I got out of work later than expected and was focused solely on getting a meal on the table before 9:00pm. I sat down with my bowl of goodness, having resigned to the decision that I would not be taking photos. But just a couple of bites in, I thought (actually... I said... aloud) "this is too pretty not to take pictures of!" It was a rushed photography job, but these will do...

(Yes, that's a baguette with brie, a candle burning bright, and a delicious glass of white wine.)

I warned Zak while he was at work that I was going to try something a little new for dinner tonight. I told him I thought he'd like it but I wouldn't be offended if he took one bite and opted for the McDonald's down the road. Turns out.. he LOVED it! In fact he said it was his favorite Allie-original. Here's the proof: His bowl when mine was still completely full.

And his face after a few bites.

I regret to inform that I have no name for this dish. I further regret that I took no measurements while making it. So I cannot relay it to you exactly. But this is the gist:

1. Cube/ roughly chop one zucchini, one butternut squash, one red bell pepper, and half an onion.

2. Place veggies into a large Ziploc bag with chopped garlic.

3. Add to bag a few tablespoons of olive oil, some cayenne pepper, cumin, and cinnamon to taste.

4. Add a generous dose of S&P.

5. Shake vigorously. With vigor.

6. Spread onto a baking sheet and roast at 475 degrees for 30-40 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.

7. While veggies roast, prepare Israeli couscous (aka pearl couscous) according to instructions on box. (I opted for chicken stock as opposed to water.)

8. Mix those bitches together, add some chopped basil, and ENJOY!

9. Don't forget to enjoy.

Super easy. Super delicious. Super recommended.

*       *    *  *  *    *       *

And now it's time to play another romping game of guess that celebrity! 

I do think more people will recognize this beautiful lady. 

I met this one at Rocco's about a week or so ago. 

Oddly enough, when she came in, I did not recognize her because of her most recent project, the much-loved 30 Rock; I hesitantly admit I've never seen a full episode. Instead I knew her as Elaine, the nosey, attention seeking, but still somehow lovable assistant to the one and only Ally McBeal. Odder still, I only knew this because for the last month I've been on an Ally McBeal binge. I had not seen one episode, and now I'm on season 4.

Yes, the aforepictured (it's a word if I want it to be) lady of the hour is Jane  Krakowski! My heart skipped a beat when she waltzed in. 

I hope you were all able to see big, loud, better-than-I-remember-last-year's-show-being fireworks last night! Happy 4th.

A Slice of Stranger.

"Smith could see 

the blast of icy anger that Jubal 

was hurling toward the man, 

a blast so furious that, 

had one Martian hurled it toward another, 

both 

would 

have 

discorporated 

at 

once."

Valentine Michael Smith is a human who was raised on Mars and only recently made his way back to Earth. Here, he is watching the human Jubal Harshaw exchange words and threats with a policeman. Apparently, on Mars, if a Martian even so much as thinks a bad thought about another, he is in danger of immediate discorporation (not exactly death-- plainly ceasing to be).

My first reaction went something like this,

'Oh, how wonderful! If only the world I live in could become something like that!'

But then I got to thinking,

'Wait, then people would only be non confrontational for the sake of self-preservation. So that's kinda lame.'

See, the magical thing about these Martians is that this whole discorporation thing hasn't conditioned them to be kinder, more patient, or avoid confrontation. They just are, by nature, all of these things. Discorporation is not the rule which keeps them in line. Discorporation is the rightfully dramatic result if ever a Martian acts so unnaturally out of anger or frustration.

Also.... it was the Cause & Effect Spring Party last night. Click here to see the awesome invite.

The party was, as promised, full of laZers, smoke, bubbles, and fun. Also... a photobooth.

Zak and his coworker, Alex

Zak and Allie: round two

Zach vs. Zak

The lovely couple

A couple of days full of events. Dare I say... eventful?

Wowza. Crazy couple of days. 

At some point on Wednesday morning/afternoon I started feeling some discomfort in my... ahem... pelvic region. I thought little of it. 

It became a bit more obnoxious on Thursday evening. But I went to work and kept myself busy. Didn't even think about it. 

I got home a bit after midnight, feeling perfectly fine. But by 12:45 or so my stomach started feeling strange. I kept feeling like I needed to pee, but whenever I'd try to, I'd have little to no luck. I began thinking I might have a dreaded UTI. I hopped back in bed, submitting to the realization that I wasn't going to pee, though I felt I needed to. Moments later, I rolled over onto my right side and zing. Pain. My entire right side cramped like a mothereffer. I went to the bathroom. Still no pee. Just more pain. Slow, creeping pain, spreading to my lower back and abdomen. 

Tired of trying to convince my body it needed to pee, I resorted to pacing. Back and forth. While quickly and deeply huffing and puffing. At one point, I approached Zak (tired and in bed) and said worriedly "Zak, I have no idea what's going onnnnnn." At which point, Zak immediately looked up the nearest hospital. After a moment of debating, and Zak helping me to put my clothes on (seriously... it was that painful) we left the apartment, hailed a cab, and went to the ER. 

PROOF.

Then some nurse got my information and blood pressure. Then we waited. Then we were given a bed. Then we waited some more. Then we listened to everyone around us hollering about waiting too long or needing more drugs. Then we waited a little more. Then a doctor gave me a cup to pee in. Then we waited one last time. And finally a doc told me there was no infection and based on my symptoms, I probably had a kidney stone. 

A kidney stone. In my 23 year-old body. 

We finally left at around 4:45am. By then I was feeling almost normal again. 

I spent the whole next day peeing into a cup and inspecting for kidney stones. Sure enough... my 4:15pm urination brought with it a tiny little gift. A quarter of a centimeter gift. (Amazing how much pain that teeny little thing can cause.)

I brought the stone into the doc and it is currently being analyzed. I'll be sure to give you all the dirty details of my health qualms as I learn them.

Anyway. I needed a bit of a pick-me-up after that fiasco. Soooo...

*  *  *  *  *

CHOppED Off.

Oh... and let me just add: Zak Engel rocks for taking care of me all night long while I felt like hell, getting to bed at 5:30 am, waking up at 8:30 am, getting to work on time, and working all day. Unstoppable, that one.